I recently rediscovered it. This takes me back to 16 years old!

"Us and Them" - Pink Floyd

Us and them
And after all
We're only ordinary men

Me and you
God only knows it's not what
We would choose to do

"Forward", he cried from the rear
And the front rank died
The general sat and the lines on the map
Moved from side to side

Black and blue
And who knows which is which
And who is who

Up and down
And in the end
It's only round and round, and round

"Haven't you heard it's a battle of words?"
The poster bearer cried
"Listen, son", said the man with the gun
"There's room for you inside"

Down and out
It can't be helped
But there's a lot of it about

With, without
And who'll deny
It's what the fighting's all about

Out of the way it's a busy day
I've got things on my mind
For want of the price of tea and a slice
The old man died

"Going Down" - Jeff Beck


Well, I′m going down
Down, down, down, down, down
I'm going down
Down, down, down, down, down
I′ve got my head out the window
And my big feet on the ground
She's gone
Gone, gone, gone, gone, gone
She's gone
Gone, gone, gone, gone, gone
I′ve got my head out the window
And my big feet on the ground
So, I′m going down
Down, down, down, down
I'm going down, down, down, down, down
Down, down, down, down, yes I am
I′ve got my head out the window
And my big feet on the

Well, I'm goin′ down
Down, down, down, down
I'm going down
Down, down, down, down, down
I′ve got my head out the window
And my big feet on the ground

Gone
Gone, gone, gone, gone, gone
She's gone
Gone, gone, gone, gone, gone
I've got my head out the window
And my big feet on the

Well, I′m down
Down, down, down, down, down
I′m goin' down
Down, down, down, down, down
I′ve got my head out the window
And my big feet on the ground, yes I have
Well, she walked out the door
And I crawled right out there

Yup! "Dungeon Soup."

Commando, all the way! I have not worn underwear on a regular basis, except for work, since 1982!

Oh, there is no doubt about this! The Mighty Blow Job, hands down!

Best one I ever had, and the first one ever, was at a massage parlor in Olongapo City, RP, back in the 80s. A buddy told me about this place on Magsaysay Drive, and, one night, after I got off duty, I thought I would give it a try.

There was a list posted in the lobby of various massage services, including one called the "Special Massage." Naturally, it cost extra.

I paid for the "special massage" and, man, was it special! The "masseuse" had false teeth, which I didn't know about until she took them out and began gumming and sucking on my crank after giving me a very nice legitimate massage!

I thought she was going to suck my soul out right through my urethra! The ensuing orgasm felt ten minutes long!

I gave her a very good tip afterward. She deserved it!

A little girl is looking out the window and sees two dogs screwing on the front lawn. She yells, "Daddy! Daddy! Come here! Come see what those dogs are doing!"

Daddy, hearing her, comes in and sees his daughter watching the dogs. "Oh, no," he thinks. "I don't think she's old enough for this talk yet. I'll make up something."

Thinking quick, he tells her, "See the boy dog? Well, he hurt his foot and the girl dog is helping him go to the vet."

The little girl watches for a moment, and then looks at him and says, "Well, that just goes to show ya. You try to help someone and you just end up getting fucked!"

Thieves broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets in the building. The identities of the burglars were unknown. The Chief of Police said later in an interview, "So far, we have nothing to go on."

Um, it's spelled "borders."

"Wish You Were Here" - Pink Floyd

(Intro, various voices on radio channels being rapidly scanned):
"And disciplinary remains mercifully...
Yes, and I'm with you, Derek, this star nonsense (yes, yes)...
Now, which is it?
I am not sure of it..."

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell?

Did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees, hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change? Did you exchange
A walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl, year after year
Running over the same old ground, what have we found?
The same old fears, wish you were here

Here I am!

Helmet!

Here is mine!

Yup. Mainly, manually. I got called a "bad boy" by my then-future wife when I did it to her!

"Pearl Necklace" - ZZ Top

She's really upset with me again
I didn't give her what she likes
I don't know what to tell her
Don't know what to say
Everything got funky last night

She was really bombed
And I was really blown away
Until I asked her what she wanted
And this is what she had to say:
A pearl necklace
She want a pearl necklace
She want a pearl necklace

She gets a charge out of bein' so weird
Digs gettin' downright strange
But I can keep a handle on anything
Just this side of deranged

She was gettin' bombed
And I was gettin' blown away
And she held it in her hand
And this is what she had to say:
A pearl necklace
She want a pearl necklace
She want a pearl necklace

She's so tough, as pure as the driven slush
And that's not jewelry she's talkin' about
It really don't cost that much

She was gettin' bombed
And I was gettin' blown away
And she took it in her hand
And this is what she had to say:
A pearl necklace
She want a pearl necklace
She want a pearl necklace

I'm going to say sometime around age 11 or 12. I remember stripping nude, getting an erection, and then admiring it in the bathroom mirror after that age. I was still not very tall then, and that made my dick look bigger proportionately than it does now, now that I'm quite taller.

I masturbated and ejaculated at the Painted Rock exit on I-80 between Reno and Fernley one night while cars and semis whizzed past. I was edging myself all the way from Fallon and when I got near Painted Rock, I had to cut loose. I pulled off at the westbound exit and stuck my upper body out the driver's door window so my dick was hanging past the side of my pickup and finished myself off right there.

I agree with Bicunova! Not gay, just lucky! Holding your own cock while you jack off isn't gay, so why would sucking yourself be gay? It's just masturbation, after all!

I want to go back and time and get wild with Hedy Lamar and 19 year old Lauren Bacall! These are two of the hottest babes ever to grace this planet!

Cumshots! I love cumshots! But, I am flexible. Straight fucking, solo male masturbation, solo female masturbation, female orgasm, gang bangs, handjobs, erotic massage, orgies, bukkake, public masturbation, all of these get me hard!

Me, too! I wore those out from watching them over and over and over!

It was the summer of 1972, just before 6th grade. I was 11. I was sitting on the toilet one day and I got the notion to start moving the skin on my cock's shaft up and down.

Holy cow! It started feeling good after several minutes of doing that! Really good! Better than anything I had ever felt before! After a few minutes, I stopped doing that before anything happened. I completed my original task with the mandatory paperwork follow-up and went on about my day.

I did this again the next day, and several days afterward, always stopping just as it started to feel really, really good. What I didn't realize was that I was edging myself. Totally clueless dumb kid!

After several days of teasing myself, I began to think about what would happen if I continued to stroke my cock past the point where I had stopped on previous days. I decided that the next time I sat on the pot, I would do just that.

So, shortly after, there I was, sitting on the throne, pants around my ankles, jacking my cock's skin up and down with the first two fingers and thumbs of both hands.

It started feeling good after several minutes, as it usually did. When I got to the point where I had stopped before, I kept on pumping. The pleasure grew even more intense as I stroked. It felt better and better and better, until, what to my surprise, but I felt a sudden pulsating sensation deep inside my body and geysers of semen shot out the end of my dick, the first spurt climbing up to eye level!

Talk about shocked! I had no idea my cock could do that!

That was the beginning of a long love affair with my dick! I still love it, as often as I can!

When I was a kid, I loved to watch myself jacking off in a mirror. This was during the 1970s.

Hell, yeah! I've been doing it since the 1980s! Took my first dick pics in 1981 with an Olympus OM1-n 35mm SLR (still have that great camera)! I bought a Sony Beta Max video camera in 1984 and started shooting videos of myself for my own pleasure a couple of years later when I moved into my own apartment off base (USN, 1980-88, west coast).

I still love to like at my cock, and now I have the opportunity to show it off to anyone else who cares to look at it here!

Well, she is a potato, so there is that!